How to build a webpage in 25 steps

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.

2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page
- 6 weeks.

3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software,
because they have released 3 new versions since the first
time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.

4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on
your site - 1 minute.

5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them
that you like - 4 days.

6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails,
download it again - 25 minutes.

7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar
buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.

8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a
few words here and there - 4 hours.

9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software
- 1 minute.

10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.

11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.

12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your
background, wonder why all your text is gone - 4 hours.

13. Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.

14. Try to figure out why your counter reads
"You are visitor number -16.3 E10" - 3 hours.

15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.

16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web
page on your ISP - 40 minutes.

17. Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.

18. Recreate your web page - 2 days.

19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto
your ISP's server - 3 weeks.

20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.

21. Download FTP software - 10 minutes.

22. Call your friend again - 15 minutes.

23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server - 10 minutes.

24. Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.

25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity.

26. Or... you could call Ossining Design Guild - 5 minutes!