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"Many a small thing
  has been made large
by the right kind
of advertising."
- Mark Twain
Home

How to build a webpage in 25 steps

 
1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.


2
. Think about what you want to write on your Web page
- 6 weeks.


3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software,
because they have released 3 new versions since the first
time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.


4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on
your site - 1 minute.


5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them
that you like - 4 days.


 
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails,
download it again - 25 minutes.


7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar
buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.


 
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a
few words here and there - 4 hours.


 
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software
- 1 minute.


10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.


11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.


12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your
background, wonder why all your text is gone - 4 hours.


13. Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.


14. Try to figure out why your counter reads
"You are visitor number -16.3 E10" - 3 hours.


15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.


16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web
page on your ISP - 40 minutes.


17. Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.


18. Recreate your web page - 2 days.


19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto
your ISP's server - 3 weeks.


20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.


21. Download FTP software - 10 minutes.


22. Call your friend again - 15 minutes.


23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server - 10 minutes.


24. Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.


25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity.


 
26. Or... you could call Ossining Design Guild - 5 minutes!


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